The current pandemic has posed many challenges for most people. Some people find themselves “trapped” in their own homes and find it difficult to cope. Let us acknowledge that it is anxiety provoking and the sense of uncertainty can be intolerable. One way to manage your anxiety is to redirect your mind and your energy towards something else. You can give your brain a new task to keep it busy, How about your relationship with your partner?
While this situation is temporary, how about using this time as an opportunity to focus on other aspects of your life that needs your long overdue attention, such as your relationship with your partner. If you are not getting along with your partner, this is the time to mend it since your attention is not as divided between work, attending children’s activities, keeping up with social obligations, and fulfilling other day-in and day-out responsibilities. Your relationship with your partner requires continued attention and maintenance. Look at it as a new personal project and make a choice today that can lead to a greater sense of accomplishment and satisfaction for many years to come. According to David Burns, sometimes it is true that our problem with our partner results less from the fact that we do not know how to solve it and more from the fact that we do not want to. Sometimes choosing conflict seems a lot easier than putting in the work to make our relationships better.
In solving problems in your relationship, you have three choices, first, maintaining the status quo. Second, waiting for the other person to change. Third, focusing on changing yourself. The third option requires courage and it can lead to a fulfilling relationship. If you agree with option three then follow these simple steps to start off.
I love this quote, “every successful journey begins with only one single step”
- The first step to resolving any problem is to get in touch with your own feelings and label them
- Secondly, express your feelings, using “I Statements”. Be non-judgmental and avoid the use of criticism and blame
- Thirdly, ask for what you want because only you know what you want
- Prior to asking for what you want, first ask yourself, is what I am asking reasonable? is my partner capable of giving what I want? Be realistic
- Ask for only one thing at a time
- Acknowledge and appreciate the smallest change. Your acknowledgement can go a long way
If you need professional help to improve your relationship with your partner, connect to an experienced couples therapist who can facilitate the process of enriching your bond to help you achieve a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your partner. You can do this from the comfort of your own couch.